For thousands of foreign residents in Korea, this Dec. 25 will be one spent many miles from home on a day that centers on family.
Emigration can come as a blessed relief, and having an opportunity to travel the world is a privilege. Nonetheless, a great many will take time this Sunday to acknowledge the distance between themselves and their loved ones, and how unfortunate it is to be absent on that day of all days.
Andre Linde, 31, will be celebrating his second Christmas in Korea in traditional local fashion; with his girlfriend.
“It’s more about someone you’re dating rather than about going to your mom or dad’s house and eating turkey and seeing friends,” he says.
“It would be nice to be home with my mom but there’s something nice about being able to celebrate Christmas from a completely different point of view, even if it is just another day of the year for couples to get together.”
Westerners have long observed that Christmas Day in Korea is merely a day like any other. Shops remain open, public transport operates to a regular schedule and expectations accordingly run lower than they do at home.
Despite the visible commercial opportunities that the holiday presents ― Shinsegae is lit up this year as if electricity was going out of fashion ― the traditions at the heart of Christmas are still absent. Public and private celebrations on the day remain subdued.
“Koreans don’t place the same importance on Christmas as we do,” says South Africa native Melanie Kate Dickerson, 25.
“I would rather be at home but I made a decision to come to Korea and I knew what that entailed. Eventually, I’m going to return to a Western way of life so I can accept that this year I won’t be having a Christmas that’s family-oriented.”
For her second Christmas in Korea, Melanie is looking forward to attending a pot luck dinner in Daegu with 15 fellow South Africans and taking part in a Secret Santa gift exchange.
“It’s about being together and trying to create that sense of family,” she says. “That’s what we all need so far away from home.”
This Christmas will be Daniel Moonasar’s third in Seoul. Far from wishing that he could be home for the holidays, the 29-year-old relishes the opportunity for an international celebration.
“In America, I would have Christmas with people from different backgrounds but they were still all American,” he says.
“Here, I have Christmas with people from all over the world. For my first year, I had a party in my apartment and we all shared what we thought about the holiday and what it meant to us because we were all from different cultures. At the end of the night, it started to snow and that was actually my first ever white Christmas.
“I love spending time with new people and making an authentic emotional connection with people from around the globe. Having Christmas away from home is just part of growing up. I was always taught that it doesn’t matter where you are but, rather, how you celebrate it.”
The majority of Western residents in Korea are in their twenties and early thirties, teaching in hagwon, universities and the public school system. It’s a period of life between leaving our parents’ nests and feathering nests of our own with a partner and children.
The importance of friends and the time spent with them between those years is of paramount importance. This is even more the case when living abroad.
Jemma Benfield, 27, is preparing for her second Christmas in Busan, attempting the daunting task of cooking dinner for 10 people on Sunday. Despite being 10,000 km from home in the U.K., she will still be spending the day with loved ones.
“Last year, I didn’t know what to expect. Christmas is one of those times when you’re going to feel homesick,” she says.
“Your friends become your family. You get so caught up with wanting to be home that you need to take a step back and realize that these are the people that you care for and who you want to spend your life with. These are the people that you rely on. They’ve been your surrogate family and things like this reinforce it.
“We all feel down from time to time and whenever I do, a friend is there to pick me up and remind me that I’m not alone. That’s what Christmas is all about.”
The only meanings that a holiday has are the ones that we attribute to it. Starting new traditions is one of the great opportunities that expatriates enjoy. This Sunday is one such opportunity. Home is where you hang your hat. Have a very happy Christmas.
By Fergal Reid
