[Kim Ji-hyun] The things that matter to us

Life. Be in it. That’s a slogan I remember from my childhood in the U.S. 

I heard it in a commercial and for some reason, it stuck. It’s such a simple phrase, but so hard to live by.

We were all raised with certain values that govern our lives. Most of the time, these values hold society together. So whether the individual is happy or not, or if there are other things that may make his or her life more fulfilling is many times not a real priority.

However, have you asked yourself how much of an effort you are making to be happy? To enjoy life for what it is, to hold close the things that delight us, rather than struggle each day to live up to the standards expected of us?

For most of us, it’s a race. Every day of our lives, we seem to compete to find a good spouse. Buy a house. Make an adequate living. Raise our kids so they can get respected careers.

If such things bring you happiness, it would be easy to fit into Korean society and call yourself happy. But if they don’t, you might have a problem.

The situation doesn’t seem to be vastly different in Japan.

The majority of my acquaintances in Tokyo are married with families. Many are affluent. I was once invited to the home of an Italian friend whose house happened to be a sprawling mansion. Even by Western standards, it was huge. I mean, this woman’s bathroom was as big as my master bedroom.

Another has an elevator built inside her house. The only other “real” person I know with such a luxury is Samsung’s Lee Kun-hee. Yet another flies off to Hawaii for months every summer to blow off steam.

But to me, few appeared to be truly happy. Perhaps it was just my imagination or my jealousy that put a veil over my eyes, but in most of these families, the father was absent and money seemed to be filling the gaping hole.

Another smaller group of friends I belong to are all single and Japanese. They seem to be happy enough, taking dancing lessons, drinking with coworkers after work, hanging out in all the hip venues.

But they tell me that beneath the facade, life does not hold much meaning. They also have told me many stories about their married friends whose lives are a sham. This is why they choose to stay single. Perhaps here, too, I was being naive and believed too much of what they fed me, but their anecdotes were all pretty convincing.

Back here in Korea, it’s not just the individuals, but life seems to have seeped out of the country. The economy is far from booming, housing rent prices are ridiculous, and young people can’t find work. They are the “same old, same old” problems we have been living with for some time now, but they have yet to be resolved.

On top of that, international relations are trickier than ever, as we must look on while Japan and U.S. reignite their love affair. At the same time, we must kowtow to China and figure out whose side Russia will ultimately choose out of the two Koreas.

In politics, corruption and mud-slinging continue to dominate the realm. And now, the president will soon become a lame duck.

Among all this social and economic disarray, people are becoming restless and depressed as they try to live by the values they grew up with. As they try to make some sense of their lives. As they try to stick to the protocol.

But what’s the point of all that when there are few things that make people happy? The general mood in society is dark. It’s time we tried to live for ourselves, going out of our way to discover and enjoy the things that make us truly happy. 

Life. Be in it. 

By Kim Ji-hyun