[Kim Seong-kon] Do Koreans properly appreciate favors?

Foreigners have often pointed out that Koreans do not seem to be appreciative and seem to take everything for granted. In the 19th century, a foreigner, after living in Korea for two years, wrote, “When someone does a favor to them, Koreans take it for granted and forget the favor soon.” Although there may be a danger of stereotyping and hasty generalization, the foreigner’s observation does not seem to be totally groundless.

Indeed, we tend to easily forget the favors we have received from others. For example, in Korea you have to go a long way to find someone who remembers the names of the 16 countries that sent ground troops to our aid during the Korean War. Few Koreans would remember the names of the five countries that sent medical units to Korea at that difficult time. According to the US Pentagon, 36,913 Americans were killed during the Korean War. They died for us, and yet some of us who incite anti-American public sentiment accuse them of brutality instead of expressing gratitude.

It is no wonder that in the eyes of foreigners we are unappreciative and take others’ help for granted. The problem is that if we are not grateful, no country will come to our aid in case of another war on the Korean Peninsula. Yet, we impudently expect that other countries, including the US, will send their troops again to help us in times of crisis.

We also have completely forgotten the fact that we once depended on donations of food, clothes and shoes from the States during the poverty-ridden postwar period. Had it not been for financial assistance from the US after the Korean War, we would not have survived or become as affluent and prosperous as today. As the 67th anniversary of the Korean War approached, I recently talked about my experience in those destitute days with young Koreans. All of them were greatly surprised, responding, “Really? How could that be possible?” Obviously, they assumed that Korea had always been an affluent society.

Foreigners also point out that Koreans take the American troops deployed in Korea for granted. It is undeniable that American soldiers are here in order to protect us at the risk of their lives, and yet, some of us retort, “American GIs are here for America’s interest, not ours.” Granted there is some truth in that, but we should still appreciate their service in Korea; their presence is not only vital for our national security but also significantly reduces our defense budget. Yet, instead of being grateful for their service for our country, we frequently display indifference or even hostility toward them.

Foreigners also do not understand why Koreans are not just reluctant, but also vehemently oppose the deployment of the Terminal High Altitude Area Defense anti-missile system that would protect their country from North Korean missile attacks. Some Koreans argue, “THAAD is for the protection of the American soldiers.” But foreigners ask, “What’s wrong with protecting American GIs in Korea? They are here to protect the Korean people, aren’t they?” Of course, foreigners may not fully understand the complicated situation Korea is entangled in due to pressure from China, and yet Koreans’ strong objection to THAAD is perplexing to foreigners because it is neither logical nor rational.

Even in Korean eyes, Koreans often do not seem to appreciate what they should. For example, whenever I donate to foreign universities or institutions, they immediately send me a letter of appreciation. When I donate to Korean universities, however, I receive neither a letter of appreciation nor an email of acknowledgment. Recently, I received a letter from a Korean university asking me to participate in their donation campaign. So I sent a small amount of money to the university, using online banking. No acknowledgement came from the university whatsoever. A few weeks later, I emailed the university, inquiring of the arrival of my donation, using the address written on the letter they sent me. No reply at all. Later, instead of sending me a letter of acknowledgment or appreciation, they insolently sent me another packet inviting me to participate in another donation program.

Recently, newspaper reports disclosed a case worse than mine. A Korean businessman who generously donated a lot of money to an institution was rewarded by a tax bomb from the National Tax Service instead of a tax reduction. That was surely another case in point of the ungratefulness rampant in Korean society. Under the circumstances, few people would want to donate in Korea. “I owe you one” is a popular expression in English. It seems to imply that I will count the favors I owe you and will return each one later. Perhaps we should learn from it.

We should learn to appreciate help and be grateful. We should try to return the favor we owe. Otherwise, we will be known as ingrates in the international community. There is a proverb in Korea: “A frog forgets he was once a tadpole.” We should not forget those who helped us when we desperately needed help. We should be grateful and appreciative. 


By Kim Seong-kon

Kim Seong-kon is a professor emeritus of English at Seoul National University and president of the Literature Translation Institute of Korea. He can be reached at sukim@snu.ac.kr. -- Ed.