Some time ago, a German commercial pulled at the heartstrings of viewers. A widowed old man home alone at Christmas sends his children false news of his death. His children gather at his place in grief only to find a sumptuous candlelit Christmas feast lay out on the dinner table. The old man shows up and asks his children and grandchildren, “How else could I have brought you all together, hmm?”
Growing old is a sad thing. You become weak both physically and spiritually. Your body is no longer strong. Your organs deteriorate and give off that old-person smell. Your once sharp memory lapses and, as a result, you become increasingly forgetful. Every day, you click your tongue, muttering to yourself, “You scatterbrain!” Worst of all, you feel abandoned by the children you love so dearly.
Unfortunately, getting old is inevitable, and no human being can escape from old age and remain young forever. Perhaps that is why old people desperately want to become young again. Aging brings with it many disadvantages. As professor Yi O-young aptly put it, “When a young man does something weird, he is praised as a genius. When an old man does something weird, he is immediately labeled as senile.”
Perhaps that is why fairy tales invented the imaginary fountain of youth that bestows eternal youth when you drink from it. Maybe that is why people imagine that in heaven everyone enjoys perennial youth. History and mythologies tell us of those who wished to remain young forever by drinking or bathing in young people’s blood. It is also well known that the first emperor of the Qin Dynasty dispatched his subjects to find an elixir that would prevent him from growing old.
We take it for granted that the old envy the young for their youth, while the young admire the old for their wisdom. In Korea, however, that is no longer the case. Young Koreans no longer respect old people and instead treat them as they would expired food or medicine. They do not seem to realize that they, too, will be old one day. They do not seem to know that the wrinkled old people with frosty hair were once young and beautiful too, just like them. On the Internet, some insolent Korean youngsters write that all men and women over 60 should die. Why 60? The reason was outrageous and disheartening. They thought that old people over 60 would not be able to support young people financially and thus were useless.
In old days there was a joke in Korea: “You do not give your diamond ring to your children until you die of old age. As long as you wear it, you will be treated well by your children.” That means, the moment you give the ring to your son or daughter, you will become useless to your children and will be treated accordingly. What a cruel, wretched relationship! You raised them as if they were precious gems and took care of them when they were children. When you grow old, however, your children think of you as a nuisance. It is a sad phenomenon we now face in our society.
Nowadays, the joke has evolved into a worse one: “When old parents have some money, they are likely to be beaten to death by their children. When old parents are penniless, they will starve to death.” That is to say, when you are old with some cash or real estate, your children want you to die as soon as possible, so they can inherit the fortune. On the contrary, if you do not possess any fortune, your children will abandon you coldheartedly, so you will end up dying of hunger.
Of course they are merely cruel jokes and there are many good children who still remember the virtue called filial piety. Nevertheless, the jokes reflect our social atmosphere to a certain extent, and it appalls me. I have mistakenly believed that it is Western societies where old people are alone and lonely. As the number of senior citizens rapidly increases, I find that living as an old man in Korean society is also tough.
In today’s Korea, old people are treated as surplus men, no longer useful at home or in society. On the contrary, in many advanced countries, universities and public institutions hire senior citizens, whether full-time or part-time, maximizing on their expertise and experience. The Korean government, too, should seriously consider using senior citizens’ skills and specialties.
Youngsters should learn to respect older people and try to put themselves in old people’s shoes to understand them better. Old people, too, should care about their youngsters and try to understand them. If we blame and antagonize each other, our society will falter and fall down eventually.
We once had a beautiful custom of respecting old people. We now should put an end to this generational war. We all grow old.
By Kim Seong-kon
Kim Seong-kon is a professor emeritus of English at Seoul National University and president of the Literature Translation Institute of Korea. -- Ed.
